Monday, December 11, 2017

A Key Component of Getting Over a Break-up

Letting go can be liberating and allows you to clear your mind.

A lot of the things we talk about on Recoveryourlove.com center around getting your ex back. Tony’s book about getting your ex back is essentially a full-proof plan. Follow it and you’re golden. The trick is actually following it and being in the right mindset to do so.

Once in a while, I come to an epiphany, a big “A-HA!” moment. This happened today. Getting over my last serious relationship has been… well, not fun. I initially let him go, but couldn’t really let him go. I tried rebounding (rookie mistake), I tried being his friend, and then I went into full blown “Operation: Win Him Back” mode.

However, sometimes working out the relationship and getting back together right away just isn’t the best option. If you don’t take the time you need to heal and get yourself back on track, the same problems could arise in the relationship. Think about it. Was your relationship really everything you wanted? Or were there things in the relationship that worried you while you were with the person? Feeling loss and heartbreak can make you forget some of those things.

Sometimes, you need to let yourself heal first. And the only way to heal is to let go and accept that it’s over–for now. The problem is that letting go is monumentally easier said than done. You think that if you let go of the relationship, it’s over. You think that if the two of you don’t work it out soon, he/she will find someone else. Dwelling on those “what if” scenarios won’t help, and even if it’s over and he/she finds someone else, that doesn’t necessarily close the door for the two of you in the future.

The key to letting go of someone is to face your fear head on. Ask yourself why you are afraid to let go. When you’re able to admit it to yourself, admit it to your favorite confidant. Then, remind yourself that there’s no way of knowing the future (and if you do know how, please enlighten the rest of us), and you may be able to rekindle things in several months, or even years.

Sometimes a little bit of anger helps. I’m not talking key-his-car or call-her-a-bitch angry, but break-ups often feel like somewhat of a betrayal, even if blatant betrayal such as lying or cheating wasn’t the culprit of the break-up. Use that anger and frustration as fuel for letting go by reminding yourself that you deserve better.

It might take awhile to let go, but you’ll get there. You’ll wake up one day and realize that whatever happens, it will be OK. That mindset will allow you to think clearly and figure out what you really want.

In the words of the wise and wonderful Tom Petty: “It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going. What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing. But under my feet, baby, grass is growing. It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going.”

Still can’t let go or has time passed and you still want your ex back?

If you are ready to dive back into things head first, the “Getting Your Ex Back Roadmap” will guide you.

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