How to Get Him Back After a Break Up
Find Out How to Get Him Back After a Break Up
If you and your boyfriend have split up and you know deep down inside that you two are supposed to be together, you are probably wondering about how to get him back after a break up. Getting your boyfriend back after a break up involves a lot of letting your head rule over your heart. Your strategy to get him back after a break up will depend on which one of you decided to call it quits. A little game play is involved but ultimately it’s a process that will help your self-esteem, even if it doesn’t get him back.
Let’s look at the two possible scenarios for the break up. Both have their own approaches on how to get him back.
How to Get Him Back If He Broke Up With You
If he broke up with you, you’ll need to refrain from contacting him. The more you express to him that you want him back the less of a chance you will have of actually getting him back.
If he contacts you after the break up, don’t answer his phone calls, texts, or emails. If you are on each other’s social networking pages, delete him as a friend and make your page private. All of this may sound counter-productive to getting him back but the key here is to make him feel as though he has made a mistake.
At the same time, you must not be the one to initiate contact! This is going to be especially hard, particularly if the break up just happened.
The concept behind this “how to get him back” tactic is that most men don’t know what they have until it’s gone–so you have to make yourself “gone”.
Take on activities that you enjoy. Also, be sure to look your best whenever people are around. Even if you are hurting on the inside, never give him or the people he knows a chance to see how much you want him back. If you run into his friends, keep things short and sweet and never mention him to them. Knowing that you are moving on with life and aren’t wallowing over him may prompt him to make a serious effort for another go around with you.
How to Get Him Back If You Broke Up With Him
If you broke up with him, you need to take a different approach on how to get him back. Try to remain friends or become his friend again. Depending on how bad the break up was, this could be very difficult. Even so, it is very important that you reestablish a relationship with him. This will be the foundation that you will build on to get him to want to become more than friends again.
Keep in mind that you do not want immediately talk about getting back together. Instead, plan to do things with him that you know he enjoys and won’t turn down. Whether this means surprise tickets to his favorite team’s game or playing paintball, your goal is to slowly move back into his good graces again. While you are spending time with him as friends, stroke his ego whenever you can. Strike a balance between looking irresistible to him, yet not too obvious that you are trying to look sexy for him.
The reality is that beyond breaking his heart, you also bruised his ego when you broke up with him. Before expressing to him that you want him back you have to do a good job of healing both wounds. If you express wanting to get back with him while his ego is still bruised, his pride and ego will take the chance to heal itself by turning you down.
Do You Want to Know More About How to Get Him Back After a Break Up?
If you want to do more on how to get him back, there is a step-by-step blueprint on exactly what you need to do in order to get back your ex boyfriend.
It is the Get Your Ex Back Roadmap!
In it, you will discover everything you need to know in order to not only get your boyfriend back but also how to make your relationship stronger than it was before!
It also details 4 powerful psychological triggers that will make your ex think that getting back together is his idea!
With the secrets on how to get him back held in the guide, you’ll be able to pull him back to you more easily than you ever thought possible – finally ending the heartache you have now!
You really have two choices, you can either keep doing what you are doing and hope that your ex-boyfriend decides that he wants to take you back…
…Praying that he doesn’t find someone new that he falls in love with.
Or.
You can follow the steps outlined in Get Your Ex Back Roadmap. Everything you need to know on how to get him back is there so that you can get your relationship back on track.
You and your boyfriend CAN be together – but only if you make all of the right moves.
Discover Exactly What to Do Next on How to Get Him Back!
May 20, 2010 by admin
Filed under Get a Boyfriend Back
Hey, I’ve been exploring your site all day. I think it has a lot of good stuff. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I got scared of getting hurt. It was so stupid because he would never hurt me. I messed things up because I could’t communicate. When I finally figured this out he was not open to trying to work things out. Now he is seeing someone else. I’m devastated and I’m hurting horribly. I’m trying to be strong and I’m talking to him. I’m keeping my distance. I don’t know what to do, but I love him deeply. He thinks I stopped loving him. I would do anything for a second chance with him.
Hey Kayla,
I’m sorry to hear about the situation you are in. However, you are doing the right thing by giving him distance. You have to imagine how hurt he felt when you broke up with him. I’m not sure how long it’s been since all of that happened but you have to give him time to heal. At the same time, you have to get yourself back on track. It’s going to be hard but you have to get yourself back to being fun and desirable – and then demonstrate that to him. When done right, and at the right time, he will be ready to give you a second chance.
One big thing though – don’t try to break him and the other girl up. That will only backfire. By demonstrating that you are fun, desireable, and still want him – you’ll be able to get him to make the decision to come back to you on his own.
Thank you for advice. I really appreciate it. I would never try to break him up with the other girl. Its not me or my style. If she makes him happy, then so be it. I will take this time to get myself back on track. I know it’ll be hard. It is especially hard right now when he keeps telling me we’re done. I really appreciate any help I get. It is a very difficult time in my life right now. This all started around July 4. We’ve been broken up since then. I’m just so confused and devasted. Its been about 2.5, and I still fill sick.
Probably the best thing to do at this point is to keep your distance from him. From talking to you, I can tell that you wouldn’t do that in a negative way but moving yourself out of the picture for awhile is going to give him time to miss you. Plus it will be easier for you to heal if you don’t see or talk to him for awhile. Hopefully you’re in a position where that is possible for you to do.
Hi. This is really good advice. I was recently involved in a relationship until my ex intervened. After a 6 month long guilt trip, he had me convinced that i would only be happy if I broke up with my boyfriend and take him back. Now all I can do is think about my ex (my new ex). I feel so depressed all of the time and this happened months ago. I would do anything to go back in time, but that is obviously not possible. I don’t know the right move to make without anybody getting hurt. I also know that my ex will probably not take me back after this. What should I do?
Hey Marie,
Have you talked to your new ex lately? Usually I say not to contact an ex but this is a different situation.
Tony
We had been together 4 years. Recently, my boyfriend had broken up with me almost 1 month. Almost drive me crazy. He don’t reply me any of my e-mail, call or message making me more sad. I scare to lose him.
But when i message him for a meet up, he do meet me out. What that’s mean?…But he keep saying we are friend. Now he got another gal. But i really want to get him back. What should i do?
the information on your page above is so right
i dumped my (blowing) hot & cold partner after 4 months. i hung up the phone on him after asking him several times ‘wats up’. i just thought he was going to give me another excuse. after two weeks of no contact between us, he called. i was so elated to hear from him. now i wish i had had the info from your site earlier. he was so nice to me over the phone, asking me how i was, and about work. stupidly i asked him when we were gonna meet up. he told me to call him after work. well i fell for it and he didnt pick up or answer any of my several calls or texts. its been over a week now & i still havmt heard from him. looks like his pride and ego took the chance to heal itself by turning me down. im devastated now..not because i want him back, cos i dont want to go backwards, but because i would like to clear the air. it seems like we are on bad terms. i dont even know if we will ever speak again. why is he behaving this way?
WHY IS HE DOING THIS?
hi.This is some good advice but, i tryed everything and it dosnt work he say that he loves me but he wont go out with me i broke up with him. I dont know why i did it but i guess my ex loves my best friend i tryed to move on but its kinda hard i go to sleep thinking about him and i really love him. Please help me!
Hi,
A boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me because he thought I was controlling. Reason being was because he was going out way, too much than he should. He said he wanted a little freedom and for his sake, he left me for his “friends” Usually he would try to fix things with me, and so would I .. This time I didnt contact him, but he was a live in boyfriend. Sometimes he’ll come to shower up and such but he’ll avoid being here as much as possible. Now, I am completely sure that the whole reason for him not being here anymore is because he wants to be with his friends (which are all single). Its been 3 days, should I continue to avoid contact? I know deep down he still cares for me.
hi,
my boyfriend and i just broke up last night. he IMed me and said that we should break up and he was like not break up for good but just like a break…
i feel like i’m going to die and him doing it last night made it worse because today would have made 2 months i love him and i just want him back again he was the best thing that ever happened to me and i feel like i’ll never be happy again until i’m with him he said it was because we didn’t get to see each other a lot and weren’t acting like a couple lately well when we were together we would hold hands and stuff but we never kissed or anything like that i don’t know it’s only been a day but it feels like it’s been so much longer and i can’t stand it
Ok, so I broke with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. I told him things weren’t working out and that he wasn’t what I expected. He told me he would try harder to make me feel loved but I told him I couldn’t. Before that I had broken up with him several times and he always told me to get back with him. This time he only told me once and then he said we could be friends. Now I want him back but he says he has to think about it. what should I do? I really really love him with all of my heart and I think I was so stupid for breaking up with him. I already told him that but he says he needs time to think. His mom invited me to a trip they are going to and he wants me to go but as friends. what should I do? how do i get him back?
Hi,
I have been dating the love of my life for a year. We have had an incredible amount of stress but have been through it. and been there for each other. I have a home in another state that I have to deal with and a life for us there together.
Legal issues and family (mother that has now passed)things that my BF has been dealing with has keep us in a different state. He promised to give my state a try and it would be a much easier lifestyle that is needed for us. Although it is scary for the bf, he is willing to give it a try as being in our current state was a constant struggle and I have to deal with my house and get back to my home state.
My bf had business that he lost, it made him a lot of money but he lost it all. It has been risky and he has been dealing with legal stuff from it and it has been quite a headache. It would be most beneficial to get away from the biz and take some steps away from it. Maybe come back to it after some time.
My bf has had mixed feelings about going , but know it is for the best.
He just recently had an opportunity to get back in the same biz in our current state, which might be an incredible, but again risky opportunity. He decided to go forward and persue it and also live in my home state. I forsee the potential problem of him still being distracted and I said “no way.” He continuted to persue it and starting lining things up saying he could do both.
Our main problem has been his constant distraction and my feeling like I am not a priority. I just needed him to give my state a chance for 6 months and knowing him, he will put roots down and get something going less risky there. (he said this as well) he is very driven and smart. He thinks he can do both, and there is a small window with this new opportunity. I don’t have the stomach for it and put my foot down, as I have been sooooooo miserable in our current (situational) life.
We are scheduled to move back with money tight and not a concretete plan but the main goal is to save my home and work on things there. I expect we would also put roots in his state once We secure things in mine. In our current state, I have made a huge sacrifice living an hour away for work and helping take care of his dying mother, was expecting him to return the sacrifice. This new biz got him into his current mess and he is determinded to make it right, although it is still risky in my opinion.
He has said the relationship isn’t worth losing. I have felt that he takes me for granted and he didn’t think this would be a dealbreaker. I went crazy and broke up with him started packing my things for the move and moved out until I am scheduled to move home in two weeks. I do not want to be without him or broken up, I just had to make a point. Don’t want to be in another state and still wondering. He tried to stop me and say I was acting too crazy and that we can make it work. I doubted it since he didn’t communicate with me and started to get the ball rolling behind my back with the new biz. The new opportunity could save us, but also not. I love him dearly, think he is the love of my life, but I have to get the control on this relationship or just end it. What do I do??? I have two weeks, I told him not to come to my state with me if he is going to put roots here at this time. If he stays he has to get a roommate to help with rent, this would lock him in to our current stare, as now we are month to month, getting a roommate is another commitment.
I am 40, been married before, want a family and no interest in anyone else, just need to get my point across. I am not interested in a long distance thing, even short term. We don’t have any real issues other than the crap we have been dealing with and me being miserable.
This is a difficult window because this two weeks is life changing. No contact at all?? I want to call but know I shouldn’t . It is tricky cause I did the breaking up but needed for him to know I am serious and don’t want to be walked over. How do I handle the next two weeks. I want him to realize how important this is to me. Dont’ have much time, please help me outline a plan. Sorry for the long post and much rambling but just desperate.
Dont want him out of my life, just have to get control of this situation.
I had been dating a guy for about 6 months and really fell for him. He came back from Afghanistan and was diagnosed with PTSD. I really love this guy, but yesterday he broke up with me saying that he is not ready for a relationship and does not want to deal with the things that come with a relationship, because he has enough stress in his life right now (I confronted him about something I felt he lied about). Then he says he can be a friend to be, but a relationship is out of the question right now. It really hurt me and I don\’t know what to do. He says he loves and cares about me, but if he did he wouldn\’t have broken my heart. I did call him a few times after he said what he said, then he turned around and called me last night. So what should I do now. I have decided not to contact him again, but it is really hard. I love this guy.
Hey Stacey,
He is going through A LOT right now. The best thing to do for him right now is to give him space and time. Don’t put pressure on him but be there for him when he needs it. That’s not to say that he will want to get back into the relationship but he does need people that he can turn to.
Tony
This is great advice, I was dating a guy for 10 months and things were going great until he started becoming distant with me. We constantly had talks about spending our life together but his moods were interfering. He was a recent divorcee and was still dealing with the trauma from that relationship of 12 years..When we met, he said he was over it, but obviously he wasn’t.. After feeling like he wasn’t treating me right (Not answering calls, or seeing me like he used to) I broke it off. Then i said i wanted to be back in the relationship..He says that i’m acting like the ex wife and does not know if he wants to do this.. I know he’s having a hard time but I hate that I didn’t give him his space to think. Now i’m nagging him and hes just avoding me.. To add to this, he has a spare key to my house and car and have not given it back. He says he will but he has not..He still have clothes at my house as well.. is this his way of holding on? Or does he think that I wont move on with another man if he still has my house and car key? I don’t fear that he will do anything wrong, but i get sad when I wonder why he has not given me my keys and dont call. He says he’s going through alot, and that we will talk about it…but its been a month now and he has not told me what is going on other than child custody court dates/
Confused Shelly
Hey there….
i need your help….i have been dating this guy for the past 3 months and i love him a lot…he has been saying it since last evening that he wants to break up and then he even said that he needs time…
i know he loves me….it was my mistake that has made him say all this to which i have apologized also and promised him that it won’t happen ever again…i want him back and i want to talk to him…i have been trying to contact him but every time he cuts my phone or even if he answers he doesn’t talk to me properly…please tell me what to do?
Hey, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Before I can give advice, what was it that you did to make him want to break up with you?
You definitely need to give him his space. You’re right, he isn’t over the divorce and if you are doing things that remind him of his ex, you’re putting yourself in a bad category in his head. Give him space and time to work things out. Remember, you broke it off with him. You can’t expect him to want to jump right back into a relationship with you after that.
As far as the keys go, change the locks on your house. I know there isn’t anything you can really do about the car keys. That way, the keys no longer become an issue between you two. You don’t have to tell him you changed the locks. Just do it and let the issue be settled.
Right now, he needs time and space. You have to give it to him. If it starts to look like time and space aren’t working, then you will need to take more drastic measures.
Hello.
I have a unique situation. My boyfriend broke up with me because he “feels “better single” and “doesn’t feel the same anymore” obviously sparks died. We were romantically involved for about 8 months. We were friends for years before we dated and are also in a couple of musical groups together and share a very close social circle. Obviously this is a tricky situation because I will see him frequently. He wants to remain friends because we really do have a great time together…and I believe that I let the friend part of the relationship go too far and a lot of the more intimate romantic things slowly faded without me noticing until it was “too late”. I tried to persuade him to give it another chance…but he said he will probably end up feeling like how he feels again. I am so very much in love and attracted to him. I don’t wanna look at other guys ever. Do you think that it is possible for me to rekindle those romantic feelings he had for me in the beginning? What should I do and how should I approach this?
Thank you so much for your time and thoughts.
Hey,
Yes, I think it is possible to rekindle the relationship. However, before that can happen he’s going to have to miss you. This is more difficult because you share the same friends. The best way to do this is going to be for you to start seeing other people – not to make him jealous, but for the purpose of seeing other people. It will take your focus off of him and he will notice when that energy is directed somewhere else. How he reacts at that point will be the true test whether you can get him back easily or if you have to do more.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. We live together. He broke up with me 2 months ago but due financial situations, we still live together. We also still sleep together and are still intimate. He still tells me he loves me but gets very defensive if I talk about getting back together. He says his reason for breaking up is b/c he\’s \"just not happy\". However, there’s never been any indication to support this reason. He always seems so happy and loving. We do live in a stressful situation and I have recently found out that my interfering mother has been trying for years to split us up b/c since I\’ve been with him, she is unable to control me. He has made me a better person and I would do absolutely anything to have my relationship with him back. He is the love of my life.
Hi
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago , we were together for 3 years , all of sudden he told me his mom doesn\’t like me but i never met his mom , he said she doesn\’t like me because we are not the same nationality and he doesn\’t love me that much , so he doesn\’t want to make his mom upset because of me , i\’ve been trying not to contact him , be confident and happy .. because i want him back . I wanna know if it is possible that he wil come back to me ? and what should i do to change his mind ?
my bf broke up with me because he thinks that i have other bf or bfs..i was faithful all along but not sure if he was and now am feeling crushed and broken because i really love b i dont know if he loves me
Hi, my situation is very different, guys plz help me. need your help!
I was dating a guy from the last 4 months. And i fought a lot reason being he never gave me time, and dint use to call me much…just once in 2 days. We had fought 6-7 times in the last 4 months. And he has always forgiven me. But the last time i yelled on him , he yelled back on me. And now he is just not ready to listen to me. I cried , i called him again and again , said sorry so many times, but he is just not responding…Have i lost him, will he come back?? i really love him and dont wanna loose him… I fought with him because i love him and just because he was not giving me time i was irritated and yelled. Please help!
Hey Carolene,
I know it is hard right now but you have to look at this objectively. How much time was he actually spending with you each week? Was it not enough time or was it just not as much as you wanted? Four months is still early in a relationship and you have to take that into account when looking at how much time he is spending with you. At the same time, if you two have fought 6-7 in four months that means that you two are having a fight almost every other week. Since the relationship is still young and you two are already fighting, I think it may be best to move on. I know that this is not what you want to hear but you will definitely be able to find someone else who is willing to spend more time with you.
Tony
Hi Tony,thank you for valuable advice. Initially i and my boyfriend used to meet every weekend, but due to the fights we started skipping one or the other weekend.it’s like i personally feel that even when he calls me he is mentally not with me. So i used to complain him for not giving me time and back off at times, and at that point of time he used to come forward and start calling me. And then he ‘ll call up everyday and suddenly disappear for 2 days. And then i’ll complain and yell, complain him for not calling me up . And then rather explaining me he ‘ll probably say that he’ll just call me in 2-3 days and simply hung the phone reason being he cannot take this behavior of mine. I mean a girl really expect love n care in a relationship.And the last time i yelled, after which we again fought, after which i said sorry so many times on the text( because i dont wanna loose him) but he is just not responding to my calls and i texted him so many times but got no response. What needs to be done in this case? i’m really very upset about it , dont know how to handle this situation. Is there any possibility to get him back and ill be more understanding and won’t expect too many things out of him? may be i asked him too much. Or shall i leave him alone. Will he come back?Please advice
Hey Carolene,
I would like you to read the first part of your comment over again. While I’m not there to be witness to how things went between you two, it seems by your description, that things started going downhill quickly. That is usually an indication that you two may not be as compatible as both of you had hoped. I would recommend moving on because otherwise you’ll end up investing a lot of time and emotion with someone who isn’t going to give you what you need in a relationship.
There is someone out there for you, but I don’t think this guy is the one.
Tony